A Christmas Letter

Dear (name),

Well, Christmas is with us once more with 2004 having flown by, and I can scarcely believe it's time once again to write the Christmas letter! It's been a hectic year with so much to tell, so without further ado I'll tell you all our news.

Work's going fantastically at the minute, and maybe it's just the experience talking, but I have to say it almost seems as if I've got less work every week. I think as one of the company's older employees, the whole company looks to me for those "pearls of wisdom". My manager's often coming down to my new office in the basement to ask my advice- just last week he asked me what I'd do if I had an employee who's just not up to their job anymore!

Steve's still looking for a job, so fingers crossed it'll be any day now. He's joined a local community group to protest about some new gypsy camp or something on the outskirts of town. It seems like every night he's out there in his favourite England shirt. It's so nice to see him taking such an active interest in the community- particularly with this recent spate of violent attacks in the village which we all worry about. I think he's also joining a rounders club, and his room's just full of bats and facemasks (he says they never have any balls, because he can hit really hard)- maybe that will help him work off that "beer belly"! We do so wish he'd grow his hair too- he's got such lovely curly hair when he grows it longer than a grade one.
Jenny's currently studying for her AS-levels, and taking a real pride in her appearance. She says she's down to a size 8 now- hardly the teenager with the "puppy fat" we all remember! Surprisingly, she found out she was diabetic earlier in the year, and did so well to go to the doctor's all by herself and not worry her poor old dad! Indeed, if I hadn't found the syringes in her room I'd have no idea at all!!

As for little Paul, his violin playing is really taking off, and he's practicing so many hours a night we hardly see him anymore. He sometimes needs a bit of encouragement from his parents when he's tired- but one can't expect to achieve one's lifelong ambition of joining the BBC Symphony Orchestra without making a few sacrifices. He puts so much passion into his performances he's getting through bows at an astonishing rate- and he's always catching his wrists on those sharp strings. We've taken him up to the hospital so many times I'm sure they must be getting the wrong idea!!

Helen's flower business is going from strength to strength at the minute, although it does mean she's often working in the shop until the small hours! A few weeks ago she had a hilarious moment with a long-stem rose when a particularly thorny specimen managed to tear all the buttons off her blouse- she tells me the poor delivery man was frightfully embarrassed! It's good having the two incomes too- sometimes I just don't know where all the money in my wallet gets to!

On a sadder note, Grandma's still quite poorly, and hardly gets a chance to leave her house anymore. Despite her worsening health, she's really kept her sense of humour, and I have to laugh when she comes out with such gems as "If I was a cat you'd put me down" or "Where's Dr Shipman when you need him?" I had a dreadful disagreement with her doctor, who really seems such a cold man, but eventually I threatened to report him unless he take mother off that terrible morphine- we really can't run the risk of another accident like last Christmas.

I hope to see some of you at midnight mass this year, although I must say I will miss Reverend Feltham's sermon this year. It was quite inconsiderate of the bishop to move him so abruptly to another parish, without even letting us have a "whip round" for him first. Still, I have high hopes for his new replacement, who is a quite excellent preacher and popular with the young people-he has already told Jenny that he would consider having girl altar servers which is a quite timely development.

Well, I hope next year is similarly successful- who knows what it may bring?

Wishing you a merry Christmas and a prosperous new year.
"The Gang"