Where there's a Willesden there's a way

Sunday, April 09, 2006

New words required

Sometimes English just doesn't have the words to really sum up what you're feeling at the time. I wish our language could be more like German, where *every* possible opportunity is covered. For example, a policeman directing traffic has a rich vocabulary to draw on, so even when his foot is run over by a rogue rickshaw driver, he can merely sigh and utter the universally agreed noun, and passers-by will nod sympathetically and say "Rickshaws, eh?".

It makes for a closer, more understanding country. Well, compared to us at least. The Friday Thing have a regular column devoted to inventing new words, entitled Neologisms. For all I know they may have invented that word too, so I'd better not use it here.

OK, we need a word that can be used to describe the following two situations, which are happening to me a little too much.

Scenario one
Czech Flatmate is hanging out in my room late at night, and we've had a few drinks.
"Oo, mind if I just catch the last two minutes of Hollyoaks? Just want to see how it ends."
"Hollyoaks? What is this?"
"Sort of a cheesy but harmless teatime soap. It's pretty addictive after a few months though."
"OK, but I hope this is not one of your weird programmes."
I turn on the TV, and Andy is standing in front of Mel, his hands behind his back and a small trickle of blood is running from his mouth. Closer inspection reveals that a gigantic wooden spike is sticking through his chest, in a freak accident which might just be a clever visual pun on drink spiking. But there's no point in explaining this at this point, as my flatmate is horrified.
"This is disgusting. You are disgusting! Why would you want to watch this? You are weird."

Scenario Two
It's a Sunday morning on the last day of my holiday, and some chilled out music is required to go with my coffee. So I download a very early episode of the now sadly defunct Sleepy Sunday Show, and listen to it in bed with a nice coffee and the Sunday papers.
"And that was another sleepy sunday song on the sleepy sunday show. Maybe you're still lying in bed at midday, with a nice coffee and the Sunday Papers..."
"And on this show we try and bring you some of the most beautiful accoustic music from Scotland. And now, inexplicably, I'm going to get my ten year old son to review The Incredibles, in a very loud voice."
Of course, at this moment my flatmate's walking past.
"What the hell are you listening to?"
"Um, some of the most beautiful accoustic music from Scotland?"
"Doesn't sound like it. You're weird..."

OK, anyone suggest a word to describe why my flatmates all think I'm weird. And why my Mum always thinks I like really violent gory films...

*I wish I knew this word.


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