Where there's a Willesden there's a way

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

This is the end!

I had one of those friends once. He used to go out and pump iron, press benches and run marathons. I asked him once how you actually go about running 26 miles and he told me "It's like running a mile, except you keep going."

That's sort of how I feel right now. I get the feeling 3 days off at Christmas doesn't really count as a break, so from that point of view I haven't had a holiday since Turkey in August, and that contained a little too much heartache and fear to count.

So, looking at my leave a few weeks ago, I decided to take February off. For no particular reason other than I can and, well, I need to. I've got that deep tired feeling, and everything seems a little harder. When I talk to people I feel there's something missing, a spark of inspiration and empathy that went out a few weeks ago. And I've been shouting at people a little more than usual.

Two questions though. Firstly, 3 weeks is a long time. I've always told myself that if I wasn't at work I'd be doing something. But what if I'm wrong. What to do with all that time.

Second question: Can I survive one more shift? You know, before walking away and everything. I've done a 26 hour and a 28 hour stint this week, so a simple 21 hour shift should be easy. But I'm pretty tired. Sort of deep tired, looking at a sandwich when you're full up, poisoning everything you do sort of tired.

But no cop-outs, no sickies and no failures. I'll just rely on good old fashioned determination, hard work and fiddling my overtime claims. It's got me this far.


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