...the only way to happiness

We're all throwing things out today. Meg and Mog are starting the first stage in their packing, and for the first time their leaving is actually starting to look like a reality. And I'm throwing out my OU timetables and deleting all references to speed-dating and the depressing fact that I seem to have been rejected by 15 women in one night. Somehow, I doubt the wheelie bin's going to be big enough for the shear amount of disappointment and clutter that's being poured into it tonight.

I'm finding it difficult to concentrate at work at the minute, due to the shear fact that I don't want to be there anymore, the job now seems rubbish and unfulfilling and there's a growing gap between my earnings and my expenses. And for all the difficulty involved in doing the job I want to do, I still cannot believe that the only thing holding me back is the fact that I just can't pass my test.

I need to focus. New car, job and flat first, absolutely everything else second. Because I know that we're going to get through this, but all of us just really have to want this to be over.

On the bright side, I might just have met the perfect new flatmate. It's the first time someone's really wanted the flat, and her only difficulty is the notice period on her old flat. Once she lets me know that will be one less thing to worry about. And I might just be able to imagine that things won't always be this demoralising.

Oh, and my colleagues apparently spent a whole meeting saying nice things about me. Comments such as "All the things we throw at him- I don't know how he does it." Northern Nurse let it slip there's even a bouqet heading my way.

But let's face it, I'm just the secretary- they're the skilled workers doing the difficult work. And as I near the end of my two years working for them, I still don't know how they do it.

But I want to be doing that too now. So it's time to get through this. Bring on the binbags.