I've never really had a problem talking to complete strangers, in fact some of my best conversations have been with people i had never met and never will again. But this evening that just failed me.

I'd been looking forward to smooth b's party for ages, but when i got there i just didn't know anyone. And something conspired against me- if i got chatting to someone, suddenly another person would see someone they hadn't seen in ages, and stand in between us talking loudly. And when i did get chatting I just brought people down.

I'd talk about work(depressing) christmas and winter (ditto) and suicide seemed to come up a lot (although i never mentioned it). I suppose when it comes down to what's really happening, there's no such thing as an inherently depressing party. Just a fairly depressed guest.