Self-obsessed in the city

DOAFW has exclusively obtained a transcript of the final ever episode of the hit US comedy Sex in the City. We don’t want to give away too much, but we can reveal that Carrie’s shoes in the final death scene are really to die for. But here’s a sneak preview of Carrie and Miranda’s final conversation.

Carrie: You know, I’ve been thinking.
Miranda: So have I! You will not believe the purse I just saw in Macy’s. How many men am I going to have to sleep with before someone buys me that?
Carrie: I just can’t help but think that I’ve wasted my life.
Miranda: Sounds like someone needs a little retail therapy.
Carrie: It’s just, admittedly belatedly, I’ve realised that since 911 there’s more to life than fashion and orgasms. And I can’t help but think that I’ve been reduced to a caricature of myself by ratings-thirsty corporate pimps.
Miranda: My God Carrie, you’re right. And in a way we’re allowing ourselves to become tools for chauvinists to prove that infinitely complex modern women can be simplified to two glib desires; fashion and sex.
Carrie: I’d spent so much time whining about my gloriously over privileged, quasi-aristocratic existence I totally overlooked how spiritually empty I really was.
Miranda: You know, running up a visa bill doesn’t really make you happy. What made you realise all this Carrie?
Carrie: I came out of Calvin Klein loaded down with carrier bags, and I saw a group of emaciated refugee children scavenging through the bins in an attempt to find food. And I realised I’d seen all this before, and all I could care about was my stupid shoes.
Miranda: That’s terrible. How had we overlooked all this suffering for so long?
Carrie: Maybe it’s time we did something about it.