Better living through yawning

Like I say, there's been a few late nights recently. And early mornings. And plenty of coca, nytol, lavender oil, new pillows and all the other useless weapons in the Insomnia toolbox. I'm definitely losing this round.

On the bright side, a combination of all this free time on my hands and having the most financially prudent flatmate in a long time means I might have finally sorted my finances out. After months of walking round with holes in my shoes and a permanent sense of guilt, I've decided the answer to my debt problems is pretty straightforward. Borrow some more. And beg.

No, my life isn't about to resemble one of those daytime adverts, where a new car magically appears in the driveway and the kitchen doubles in size (almost for free). I've worked out that if I take out one big loan to cover the smaller 4, I'll actually be much better off every month. And I get to take a repayment holiday, the full meaning of which I'd never fully grasped up until now. And now it's approved it means I can finally tell the credit card companies and my bank where to go, and switch to a nice ethical bank account which doesn't lend my wages to arms dealers and marketers. Oh, and I can pay my rent for the next three months.

Phase two to this was to get some more money. I'm back in Manager's good books, I hope, and I have taken on a lot of extra work lately. And it's was a bit disspiriting to find that I still earn less than a cleaner in Tower Hamlets. By fifteen hundred pounds. So I decided to try a subtle approach to begin with; I printed out the advert, circled the salary and left it on Manager's desk. For the past 10 months it's been my job to know what she's thinking almost before she does, so I walked away, safe in the knowledge that she'd come in the next day, see it, and be reminded that I deserve just slightly more money.

I came in the next day to overhear Manager in a state of some alarm.
"Who's left this on my desk? Are they saying I should go and be a cleaner? Do my staff think I'm bad at my job?"

My plan had failed. This is why we leave the brilliant strategic thinking to her. So I waited a full week before trying a less than subtle approach.

"Alright Chief?" I'm experimenting with the nickname. I don't think she likes it.
"Hiya, alright?"
"Yeah, can I have some more money."
"Yeah, OK."

Again, I'm thinking the assertiveness training was a good idea.

So, hopefully, by Friday I'll be solvent, ethical and promoted. Who needs sleep anyway.