There's a book staring at me with the title 'dr f atkins revolutionary diet', with three letters coloured in to spell 'FAT'. Very witty, except i can't help but notice that this makes the most prominent letter on the page 'DIE'. In case you hadn't noticed, my christmas shopping is not going well. So far i have 3 out of 5 presents, tonight's dinner, a hat and a stabbing pain in my shoulder. And no money.