I've decided to be truer to myself.

Whenever I come out with an off the cuff comment which sounds like it was dreamt up by Bob Hope before he went to that great script meeting in the sky, I'm going to follow it up with a convincingly Bob Hope-esque catchphrase. Like "I'm tellin' ya!"

Example: FW's big night out was cancelled because most of his colleagues are civilised and married, and don't like to stay out late at night. FW comes out with "Weddings have gotta be tiring. Married people spend decades sleeping them off."

Which only sounds right when followed by a cheesy half-grin and some sort of catch phrase.

I'm tellin' ya.