I am OK. I am OK. I'm not OK.

I'm a bit tense at the moment.

Over the past day I've destroyed several bits of electronic equipment and done nothing but complain. I'm even pissed off because it's my birthday. Fact is, I've left it way too long to take a holiday, and I really really need one.

I had a nice night out last night with my mates, but this weekend I just wanted to crawl into a dark place and lie there. I didn't really feel like socialising at all. Once I got into it last night I was OK, and nights out with my friends are always great. It was today I was most worried about.

Fortunately, I got the day I wanted. May 2, 2004 is the biggest non-event of a birthday ever. The hangover didn't help, but I was just able to stay in the flat and do nothing.

I know I'm getting old. I care more about the fact that I'm on holiday than it being my birthday. But I need a holiday, and I certainly didn't need a birthday.

I'm not OK. But I will be.