Where there's a Willesden there's a way

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Since I've been having these dreams, I haven't felt right when I'm awake. My head feels heavy and unresponsive, and there's something I can't quite define missing from the energy around me.

In my dreams it's there, and if I can close my eyes and listen to the silence for long enough I can almost feel it. I'd been sceptical for so long, but there really is a force that we are all missing, that for some reason was taken away from all of us, but sometimes, without trying, the path of our lives can just come close enough to that place that we can glimpse it. It's a force that can almost be described as possession, because when we are in the grips of it we don't feel that we are in control, and that everything seems to just happen.

But that is us being ourselves. At times like this we exist completely within the minute, and we lack the forethought and processing which usually keeps us in what seems like control. We've let ourselves be governed by convention, thoughts and a heavy weight we call self. It is only when we free ourselves we are really truly in control.

Which as it turns out is exactly what I've been trying to do.


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