In tesco there's an androgynus santa and an elf swaying vaguely in time to what sounds like the one foot in the grave music. Santa's rattling a collection tin.

I ask the cashier if this is making her like or hate christmas. She just smiles at me disinterested. So i up the ante a little. 'Because i'm hating it already. She finally answers. 'you've gotta get into christmas, haven't you?'

No i don't. Any time of year I'll be jolly or miserable when i feel like it, and borehamwood tesco at lunchtime would not be my first choice.

Ok, so i'm having a bad morning.